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Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Liz Watches: Supernatural Season 5, Episode 22: Swan Song (SPOILER BLOG)

Oh, dear God. I am not ready. I’m just not ready.

I have only seen Swan Song once, and when I watched it, and I was not as emotionally invested in the Winchesters, in Castiel, in Supernatural as a whole. I was just, you know, casually watching a TV show. Now, it is my life. I am not prepared for the number this is about to do on my emotions.

AND OF COURSE, CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON MAKES ME CRY RIGHT OFF THE BAT. This song. This goddam song. I cannot. I cannot. I CANNOT.

The second Chuck started talking about the Impala I just started weeping. The Impala speech is making me weep and cry and flail. And I’m serious. This is actually crying. Tears are streaming down my face. I just want to quote this entire episode.

“On April 21, 1967, the 100 millionth GM vehicle rolled off the line at the plant in Janesville--a blue two-door Caprice. There was a big ceremony, speeches, the lieutenant governor even showed up. Three days later, another car rolled off that same line. No one gave two craps about her. But they should have. because that 1967 Chevrolet Impala would turn out to be the most important car--no, the most important object--in pretty much the whole universe.”

Dean is finally letting Sam grow up. He’s letting Sam make his own decisions.

“The truth is, watching out for you... it’s kind of been my job, you know? More than that-- it’s kind of who am I am. But you’re not a kid anymore, Sam. I can’t keep treating you like one. Maybe I gotta grow up a little too. I don’t know if we got a snowball’s chance, but I do know that if anybody can do it, it’s you.”

Dean sounds like he’s got a big old lump in his throat. Winchester Brotherly Affection is making my heart weep right now. Dean’s entire life has been looking out for Sam. His father drilled that into him: his entire existence is watching out for his younger brother. But now he’s letting that go. He’s growing up himself and he’s letting Sam do the same.

I basically want to jump off a cliff right now.

“Aw, ain’t he a little angel.” Dean loves Cas so much. No one will ever convince me otherwise.

I don’t like that Sam makes Dean promise to go live an apple-pie life. It makes his choice to go to Lisa at the end feel kind of cheap. I know he loved her in his way, but it feel like he’s doing it for Sam. Hunting was always his first and best love (after his family, of course) and the life he leads with Lisa for that year is just so UNNATURAL to me. It feels like a broken promise he made to his brother.

I FUCKING HATE GOODBYES. I HATE THEM.

Sam: Take care of these guys, okay?
Castiel: That’s not possible.
Sam: Then humor me.
Castiel: Oh! I’m supposed to lie. Uh, sure, they’ll be fine!

Cas lying like a human is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. He’s so disappointed in himself that he didn’t pick up on Sam’s human cue, and then he tries so hard to cover it up. Oh my god, my baby.

Oh, Sam. OH, SAM. I honestly don’t give him enough love, but I admire him so much right now. He is so brave. He is amazing. SAM. SAM MY DARLING.

“The Impala, of course, has all the things other cars have... and a few things they don't. But none of that stuff's important. This is the stuff that's important. The Army man that Sam crammed in the ashtray--it's still stuck there. The Legos that Dean shoved into the vents. to this day, heat comes on, and you can hear 'em rattle. These are the things that make the car theirs. Really theirs. Even when Dean rebuilt it from the ground up, he made sure all these little things stayed. 'Cause it's the blemishes that made her beautiful.”

THIS IS THE BEST SPEECH. I KNOW I’VE SAID THAT BEFORE BUT OH OH OH. Chuck has three brilliant speeches in this episode.

Dean looks destroyed when he realizes that Lucifer knows their plan.

“A fiddle of gold against your soul says I am better than you.” Heartbreak.

LUCIFER. YOU ARE A GODDAMN ASSHOLE. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.

Note: Jared Padalecki is fucking fantastic. He is an acting genius. Padaleck-Adoration-Time.

So, remember that time I wanted to quote this entire speech but I CAN’T BECAUSE THAT MEANS I’D HAVE TO WATCH IT OVER AND OVER AND I CAN’T DO IT MY EMOTIONS JUST CAN’T MY HEART HURTS WAY WAY WAY TOO MUCH. When he points out ‘Azazel’s Gang’... I honestly can’t. I hate you, Lucifer. I hate you I hate you I hate you.

Castiel: It’s starting.
Dean: Ya think, genius?
Castiel: You don’t have to be mean.

LOVER’S QUARREL. LOVER’S QUARREL.

Dean: So what do we do now?
Castiel: I suggest we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol.

AND THEN BONE. YES I CAN STILL SHIP DESTIEL WHILE ALL THIS PAIN IS HAPPENING AROUND ME.

Dean, stop bitching at Cas. Oh, I hate it when Mom and Dad fight.

THIS
GODDAMN
SCENE

WATCHING BOBBY LOSE HOPE HURTS MORE THAN ANYTHING.

I hate seeing Sam sit like that. It’s so Lucifer and it terrifies me.

“In between jobs, Sam and Dean would sometimes get a day--sometimes a week, if they were lucky. They'd pass the time lining their pockets. Sam used to insist on honest work, but now he hustles pool, like his brother. They could go anywhere and do anything. They drove a thousand miles for an Ozzy show. Two days for a Jayhawks game. And when it was clear, they'd park her in the middle of nowhere, sit on the hood, and watch the stars... for hours... without saying a word. It never occurred to them that, sure, maybe they never really had a roof and four walls but they were never, in fact, homeless.”

I WANT TO DIE. JUST KILL ME NOW PLEASE. PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY.

Why, Lawrence? Because you were born there. Duh, Dean. OBVIOUSLY.

Castiel: The only thing you’re going to see out there is Michael killing your brother.
Dean: Well, then I ain’t gonna let him die alone.

Castiel loves Dean so much. It’s plain in his face. He doesn’t want Dean to go through any more pain than he has to. But Dean loves Sam more than anything else in the universe, and he has to do this.

MICHAEL AND LUCIFER. AUGH. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. EVEN THOUGH I HATE THEM BOTH SO MUCH THEIR ANGST STILL HURTS MY HEART.

Why is Lucifer actually making sense right now? Oh, yeah, because he’s a manipulative motherfucker.

This literally sounds like a conversation between Dean and Sam sometimes. This show is fucking genius. I can’t even stand it.

DEAN WINCHESTER SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY Y’ALL. HE IS HERE. HE IS CRASHING YOUR PARTY. THIS IS WHY HE’S MY FAVORITE HUMAN.

“Hey! Assbutt!” CASTIEL IS MY WORLD.

“No one dicks with Michael but me.” Lucifer, I hate you for exploding my baby, but I kind of love you a little bit for being pissed off that Castiel hurt him.

“Sam, it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you. I’m not gonna leave you.”

This is my number one favorite thing that Dean ever says.

THE IMPALA. THE IMPALA. THE IMPALA. SHE SAVES THE FUCKING DAY. OF COURSE SHE DOES.

Can I just comment on the perfection of this scene. They could have made it ultra corny with music, but they didn’t. It’s just the wind blowing as we watch the past five years go by. It’s so, so, so perfect.

And they fall in together. Everything hurts. Bye Sam. Bye Adam. Bye Michael. Bye Lucifer. Oh, God, my emotions. I am actually weeping hysterically as I write this.

Dean: Cas, are you God?
Cas: That’s a nice compliment, but no.

THIS HURTS SO MUCH THINKING ABOUT NEXT SEASON. CAS, PLEASE NEVER BECOME GOD. DON’T EAT THE SOULS. STAY MY BABY FOREVER.

The conversation with Dean and Castiel in the Impala hurts me inside.

“You got what you asked for Dean. No paradise, no Hell. Just more of the same. I mean it, Dean. Which would you rather have: peace... or freedom?”

Bye Cas. Bye Bobby.

Did you hear that? Even Chuck says it. Dean goes back to Lisa because he made a promise to Sam. Dean’s voice when he talks to Lisa is so high pitched, like he’s trying so, so hard not to cry.

And here it is: the best speech in all of Supernatural. THE BEST.

“Endings are hard. Any chapped-ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning, but endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There's always gonna be holes. And since it's the ending, it's all supposed to add up to something. I'm telling you, they're a raging pain in the ass [...] So what's it all add up to? It's hard to say. But me, I'd say this was a test... for Sam and Dean. And I think they did all right. Up against, Good, Evil, angels, devils, Destiny, and God himself, they made their own choice. They chose family. And, well... isn't that kinda the whole point? No doubt--endings are hard. But then again... nothing ever really ends, does it?”

IS CHUCK GOD? I DON’T KNOW. I JUST DON’T KNOW.

And I honestly believe this could have been it. This could have been the end. I would have been perfectly content with it ending at Chuck vanishing after that perfect, brilliant speech.

BUT THEN WE HAD TO HAVE THAT LAST SHOT OF GODDMAN SOULLESS!SAM AND NOW THE WHOLE CYCLE STARTS OVER AGAIN.

GODDAMN IT KRIPKE. I AM COMING FOR YOU.

In other news: I love Dean. I love Sam. I love Castiel. I love Bobby. I love Supernatural. Goodnight.

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