Okay, it has taken me three days to bring myself to watch this episode, because I AM EMOTIONAL and it makes me too sad. With everything that’s already happened, and everything that’s to come, I just haven’t been able to deal with watching this particular episode. Yes, I am WAY too emotionally invested.
So here we go. This might be a liveblog because I have too many emotions. We’ll see.
OKAY so this is a headcanon moment. Non-Destiel shippers might want to skip down a couple paragraphs because this is where I go ship-crazy. Sometimes in my shipper brain, I think that Dean and Castiel are NOT in a relationship, and that they just have super secret ~~feelings~~ for each other that have never been worded or acted upon. This is kind of my canon brain, because nobody can argue that Castiel doesn’t have feelings for Dean or vice versa because technically there’s been no evidence to the contrary (Lisa doesn’t count).
HOWEVER, if I decide to believe that they are carrying on a secret relationship for the next two seasons, the end of last episode is when I think they would have gotten together. Dean promises that Castiel is not going to die a virgin, and when things don’t work out at the brothel, Dean and Cas would have had sex. It just fits in my headcanon. I’ve read several fics where this happens, and I’ve really liked them. For me, it just makes sense. I’m sure there are lots of differences of opinion concerning this, but this scenario fits in my headcanon. SO YEAH. ANGEL SEX. GOOD TIMES.
Dean and Castiel talking on the phone! I think it’s adorable.
“This isn’t funny, Dean! The voice says I’m almost out of minutes!” PRECIOUS.
SORRY HEADCANON MOMENT: Castiel is totally on his way over to Dean’s for more angel-sex-fun and Dean’s like, “DUDE I KNOW YOU LIKE SEX NOW BUT I HAVE TO SLEEP” and Cas is like, “Fine, puny human, I’ll wait for you to regain your strength” and Dean’s like “Definitely come over in the morning.”
I think they use the line “Lucifer is wearing you to the prom” about EIGHT THOUSAND TIMES IN THE SHOW. This is so silly. Come up with a different line.
“We’re not stronger when we’re together, Sam. I think we’re weaker, because whatever we have between us, love, family, whatever it is... they are always gonna use it against us. And you know that. We’re better off apart. We’ve got a better chance of dodging Lucifer and Michael and this whole damn thing if we just go our own ways.”
DEAN BABY. It’s so sad. I think what he’s saying is true, actually, but it doesn’t mean they should be apart. They’re weaker apart, also. It may be true that angels and demons will exploit their love for one another for their own means, being apart doesn’t solve this problem. It amplifies it. It’s better to be together and have some chance of survival, small as it may be, than be apart and have none. I always think back to Scarecrow, one of the earliest episodes, when Sam and Dean fight and separate and Dean almost dies. Sam is the one to save him, and it was then I decided that they should never be apart again. They need each other, need to have each other’s backs. Being apart doesn’t work. It just doesn’t. I mean, obviously: when Dean and Sam separate, Sam says ‘yes’ to Lucifer. THEY NEED TO BE TOGETHER.
MOTHERFUCKING CROATOAN VIRUS. Everything sucks. The only thing I like about this episode (besides the blatant Destiel) is that I adore post-Apocalyptic shit like this, where the army is all involved and everyone’s in hiding and everything is shitty.
Way to go, Supernatural, on the “President Palin” dig. Your political left is showing.
I wonder if Dean even noticed that the person on the far right of the picture was Castiel. They don’t exactly show his reaction to his dress or beard or the fact that he’s casually holding a gun. I wonder if he even registered it, or whether he just saw another solider.
2014!Dean is SUCH a douchebag. I hate everything about him except for his thigh holster.
NO, that’s unfair to say. 2014!Dean has been through a hell of a lot. (Small note: I don’t get the time travel element of this, because technically Future Dean should know that Past Dean was going to show up, because its still his past. Eh. I guess it’s just an angel thing. That’s what I love about this show, if there’s inconsistency, you can just be like THOSE DAMN ANGELS/DEMONS/GHOSTS/ETC.)
2014!Dean should have know that Dean would pick the lock. I mean DUH.
CHUCK IS STILL MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE IN THE WORLD.
Okay, this is where my pain begins. I paused the video because I LITERALLY CANNOT STAND 2014!CAS. He makes me too sad. I can’t read Future Fanfic... I have them all saved in a folder for when I am emotionally stable, but right now I just can’t deal with it. I think it’s because I have difficulties seeing Castiel in any other form than what he is in 2009-- falling but not quite fallen, still totally oblivious to things like personal space and other human emotions, but clearly in love with Dean. Any other Cas-- future Cas, Godstiel, whatever-- I just can’t deal with. AUGH. Bring on the pain.
I want to laugh and cry at the same time. When Dean walks in the room and Castiel gives him that look... HEADCANON (I feel like I have to warn people): Cas and Dean have been boning for like five years now but it’s obviously not exclusive because Dean can’t handle his ~~sexual confusion~~ and he doesn’t acknowledge his relationship with Cas in public, but the way Castiel stops that yoga session and sends the women away... he is totally getting some sexy on with Dean before the orgy. JUST SAYING.
Dean: What are you, a hippie?
Castiel: I thought you’d gotten over trying to label me.
I can just picture Cas and Dean fighting about this for like, years. Dean being like, “You’re all granola!” and Cas like, “I am one with the Earth, Dean!” but they’re still best friends anyway and they bone regularly. It’s kind of funny and kind of heartbreaking. I also love the Misha keeps some of Castiel’s characteristics, like his voice, but changes so many others. It’s amazing.
I hate the way Cas sounds when he says, “I wish I could just, uh, strap on my wings”. He’s laughing, but it’s layered with this really intense anger and you can see how pained he is without his powers.
Dean: What are you, stoned?
Castiel: Generally, yeah.
EVERY SINGLE LINE MAKES ME WANT TO LAUGH AND THEN CRY. I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS SHIT. His face completely falls when he answers Dean. This isn’t easy for Castiel. He turned to drugs because when he fell he began to experience pain, and he couldn’t deal with it. It absolutely shatters my heart. And Dean’s face just goes BLANK. He can’t handle that this is what the future holds.
“Tonight, I’m gonna kill the devil.” AND YOUR OWN BROTHER 2014!DEAN YOU MOTHERFUCKER.
Castiel in jeans makes me kind of ill. I hate it because it’s human and it shows how far Castiel has fallen, but I love it because he obviously learned it from Dean.
“What? I like Past-You.” This line actually speaks volumes to me. Past-Dean is the Dean that Castiel fell in love with. That’s the Dean that Castiel wants to remember, not the man he knows now who tortures and shoots men in cold blood. Seeing 2009 Dean here, now simultaneously hurts Castiel and makes him happier than he can remember being in a long time, because it reminds him why he fell in love with Dean in the first place, but also shows how much Dean has changed in five years. And he still loves Future Dean, he could never leave him, but it’s still sad seeing the man he once knew. And I love Dean’s reaction to it. He’s annoyed at the laugh, almost a little jealous, and it’s because he understands that he’s different and he wishes that he could go back to the way things were, but he can’t.
Castiel: Great, it’s right in the middle of a hot zone.
Dean: Crawling with Croats, yeah. Are you saying my plan is reckless?
Castiel: Are you saying we, uh, walk in, straigh up the driveway, past all the demons and the Croats and we shoot the Devil?
Dean: Yes.
Castiel: Okay, if you don’t like ‘reckless’, I could use ‘insouciant’, maybe.
Dean: Are you coming?
Castiel: Of course.
This little conversation is so emotional to me. The way they speak to each other, it’s very intense, but there’s also a level of deep familiarity there. You get the feeling that Cas is the only one Dean would take that kind of insubordinacy from, but it’s because he knows that in the end, Castiel will agree with him. He knows its a deathtrap and that they’ll never make it, but he goes anyway because Dean needs him. He’ll stick by Dean until the end (COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES I USE THE WORDS ‘THE END’ IN THIS BLOG GAH).
2014!Dean is so stupid. The answer is not ‘say yes to Michael’. The answer is ‘don’t let your brother go off on his own’. Honestly. DO YOU NEED EVERYTHING SPELLED OUT FOR YOU.
Okay, so I think this conversation in the car is where Ben Edlund’s BEAUTIFUL WRITING was cut out. After Cas is like, “YEAH I LIKE WOMEN AND DRUGS BECAUSE I’M MORTAL AND A LOSER NOW” there’s supposed to be a line that says something like, “I think that in the end, all Dean and I have is each other" and it comes right before “That’s just how I roll.” I’m actually dreadfully upset that this line was cut, because right now, all we can see is this very weird, negative, mean Castiel who’s like, “The world is hopeless and I hate everything and there is nothing recognizable about me anymore” and it’s scary, whereas if the audience is given some indication that Castiel still has Dean, then they know that things are slightly okay. I don’t think I explained that properly but eh. I just wish that line had been kept in. I think it’s important. Dean and Castiel still do have each other.
UGH 2014!DEAN WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS.
“You’re going to feed your friends into the meat grinder? Cas, too?” I honestly don’t know what this line is supposed to mean. I guess one interpretation of it is that Dean could be saying that Cas is NOT included in his friends, but I honestly don’t think Dean would make that distinction, because that’s just weird. It seems more like a “Cas is MORE than a friend” thing. Am I crazy for thinking this? Like, they’re in love. It is practically fucking spelled out. JESUS.
I screamed out loud when I saw Lucifer!Sam’s face. I knew it was coming and I’ve seen it a thousand times but AUGH THERE IS NO PREPARING MYSELF FOR THE PAIN. He’s doing the eyebrow and the mouth thing and it’s hurting my heart in ways I can’t explain. Also, the angel head tilt is hereditary just saying.
Lucifer is so disgustingly sweet. Talking to him is like pouring sugar into your mouth. It’s overwhelming and awful and too much. He takes something sweet and makes it bitter.
This scene makes me want to curl up in a little ball and cry forever. One: Jensen is a fucking brilliant actor. I cannot say this enough. The pain he conveys is breathtaking and I know I’m speaking in over-exaggerated cliches but I don’t care. He is amazing. Two: I don’t understand why everyone is so stupid. Everybody keeps acting like Sam becoming Lucifer is completely inevitable and nothing Dean does will change it. But 2014!Dean makes a point to say that he and Sam hadn’t spoken for a few years when Sam said yes to Lucifer, so OBVIOUSLY Dean just needs to patch things up with Sam! I MEAN DUH. They’re not weaker together, they’re stronger together because they know they have each other’s backs. Like, WHAT. Ugh. So fed up with Lucifer right now.
Dean: That’s pretty nice timing, Cas.
Castiel: We had an appointment.
Dean: Don’t ever change.
THE UTTER LOVE ON BOTH THEIR FACES. I can’t deal with this. DEAN TELLS CAS NOT TO CHANGE. CASTIEL WHY DIDN’T YOU LISTEN. WHY ARE YOU GOD NOW. EVERYTHING IS AWFUL. MY HEART HURTS. WHY IS THIS AFFECTING ME SO MUCH. WHY IS MY HEART BROKEN OVER FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.
Beautiful #WBA at the end of this episode. I approve whole-heartedly.
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