*Insert obvious and obligatory reference to Wizard of Oz and Pink Floyd*
Now that’s out of the way...showtime...
They have died quite a lot, haven’t they? The Samulet is back? And I must have missed when Sam said that Bobby gave it to him. OH SHIT THAT’S A GUN.
Walt and Roy? What now? Friends of theirs? Ah, fellow Hunters. FUCK WHAT NO! “You want to spend the rest of your life knowing Dean Winchester’s on your ass? ‘Cause I don’t.” Shit, no one does. That would be the scariest thing ever.
Oh, Dean’s freaking PISSED. I would be too. But uh...he’s dead. This is really not good. Wait...what’s this? Baby!Sam. Is this like a “life passing before your eyes” thing? It’s depressing, whatever it is.
Cas is talking to him through the radio? He’s dead, though? And in Heaven? “Follow the road.” Like Wizard of Oz. I love that Dean’s Heaven!Memory is time with Sam, and that Sam’s is his first real Thanksgiving.
“Find Joshua. The rumor is, he talks to God.”
Oh, follow the road. I get it! Oh, this is awesome. Oh, John and Mary. “I wuv hugz.” Yes, yes. I will hug you.
John left for a couple of days? I wonder what their conversation was. “It’s okay Mom. Dad still loves you. I love you too. I’ll never leave you.” I’m crying. That’s what I told my mom when my parents got divorced...even though I was 4 years old, probably only a bit older than Dean in this memory, when it really happened.
Aw, pie is linked to Mommy. Should have seen that coming. “I just never realized how long you’ve been cleaning up Dad’s messes.”
Where are they? Sam had a dog named Bones? And he lived in Flagstaff, Arizona. Ugh, Sam ran away when Dean was watching him, and probably got beat by John. Shit. Not a good memory for Dean, but I guess it was a good one for Sam. Shit.
Uh-oh. Sam’s memory of leaving Dean and John to go to Stamford. Ugh. This is horrible for Dean. Poor bby. I would feel sick if I knew that my worst memories were someone else’s best ones.
Aw, crap, Zachariah.
ASH! You’re in Heaven! All my creys forever! “Like Disneyland, without all the anti-Semitism.” I love this idea of Heaven. Soul mates share Heaven. That’s beautiful. Ash is fluent in Enochian? Beautiful man.
Pam! You’re in Heaven, too! I don’t like her line of thought, though. “Maybe you don’t have to fight it so hard.” Oh...kisses. Welp...Pam, you’re awesome.
Oh, GOD! No, this is bad. This is really not good. What is happening? No, Mary, no. Dean, don’t listen to her! It’s not real. No. This is something bad. “Everybody leaves you, Dean. Haven’t you noticed?” I am literally crying right now. This is terrible. I don’t like it. This is horrible.
Zachariah kissing Mary’s neck. Oh, fuck. That’s not good. They’re going to kill him in like a hot second when they get the chance. He’s like the fuck-all crazy-ass uncle. “Lucifer may be strong, but I’m petty.”
“You know how He is with that whole...Wrath...thing.” I’m guessing this BAMF is Joshua? Cleveland Botanical Gardens. Nice. “So you talk to God.” “Mostly, He talks to me.” Perfect.
God’s on Earth? “Back off.” God doesn’t think it’s His problem? I can’t...this is sad. “Just another Deadbeat Dad with a lot of excuses.” Shit. I’m crying.
“This time won’t be like the last. This time, God wants you...to remember.” Oh boy. This doesn’t sound good.
Cas’ face. Poor guy. He looks so heartbroken. “It’s worthless.” No, the Samulet isn’t worthless! SAD! Dean, you made me cry. And you upset Sam! I can’t believe you, bby. This isn’t like you.
Suffice it to say, this episode really upset me. I don’t like the idea of there being a supreme being, higher power, God, whatever, who just sits idly by while the world falls apart. I don’t know. I just hate that thought. I want to believe that God listens to everyone, that He knows all our hearts, that He takes the time to touch each of our lives when we need Him to.
I don’t generally like to talk about religion, because I think there’s a ton of controversy, and no one is going to think exactly like you do. However, I’m going to make an exception. I’ve seen miracles. Not just babies or things like that (as miraculous as they are). I’ve seen miracles. I believe in them. I believe in prayer, and I believe that God answers our prayers.
There are so many more thoughts in my head I wish I could articulate, but I just can’t.
I live an Ash Appreciation Life.
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